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Big IDK Energy
As I prepared my talk for the CX Festival at the start of the month, I noticed myself writing about “big I don’t know energy,” and eventually abbreviating my notes as “big IDK energy.” I wanted to encourage participants at the outdoor business conference to bring the topics where they held unanswered questions, to invite deep curiosity, and to encourage that not having all the answers can be a powerful leadership approach to invite vulnerability and space for growth in teams.
It might not be easy to say, “I don’t know.” Perhaps easier and more familiar is to think that you know the answer but not be able to put it in words. I’m sure more than one of us have looked for a software solution, a new job, or a romantic partner without specific criteria and said, “I’ll know it when I see it.” (And we also know the experience of a customer who forgot the name of the book but “it had a blue cover!”)
By a show of hands, how many of you have an area of your work or your life that has felt uncertain and carries “I don’t know” energy this year?
How many of you are experiencing some “I don’t know” right now?
Not knowing is a really powerful energy and place to be. When we don’t know the answer is when the real work begins, right?
Many participants approached me afterward and shared what it meant to them. One shared that he hadn’t known why he was attending the event. Hearing my questions helped him see that he felt a bit lost professionally; and suddenly, he also found himself in the “I don’t know.”
Another person from the audience was curious to explore what comes after the “I don’t know.” Is it “but,” “and,” or something else? They’d previously been a schoolteacher and discouraged students from saying “I don’t know.”
A third inquired how we might support employees and colleagues to better manage “I don’t know” situations. (I suppose it starts with more leaders being role models and admitting their “I don’t know” moments, but also I like that my answer can start with “I don’t know.”)
A common thread that I find in all of these inquiries is that not knowing is so much more empowering to experience with company. Not knowing and being alone can quickly lead to overwhelm. Not knowing and having the curiosity of a thought partner… a perfect formula for empowerment.

Talking with a participant after my talk at CX Festival 2024. Photo credits: Hanns Schmelzer
Those are some of the perfect moments I experience with my coaching clients. When they tell me “I don’t know,” I get curious: “well… do you want to find out?”
It may sound unusual, but I hope that you’re willing to face the discomfort of “I don’t know”. And, I hope that you’re willing to explore the uncertain and the unknown with a supportive thought partner.
If you know someone whose experiencing uncertainty, maybe it’s time to invite them in for a conversation. After all, it’s better to be invited in than called out for not knowing.