Not a New Year, New Me, And: What I Built Instead

Hey there, clients, former clients, former colleagues, friends, (and Mom 👋),

First, two disclaimers: 

1. This is a reflection of what happened and what I created in 2025, and this is not an endorsement of new-year-new-me, (and neither is the workbook. Workbook? Keep reading.)
   
   In fact, I am a rather anti-new-years person. If you don’t want to set any new years resolutions, I will be your first cheerleader for you doing you. Yes, I get that the calendar is turning, and I think it’s silly that such a trivial change can be such a big force for everyone trying to manifest change. I’m pro-change, and I’m pro creating change when you want change.
   
   This is going to be an annual reflection on building &joy, to recap what I noticed, what changed for me, and what I’m looking forward to next. And, personally, I will probably build my momentum for any changes I want to make in April, when spring brings life back to the Earth around me. So, if you’re not ready for a transition now, feel free to join me on the journey in the spring or whenever you’re ready.
   

2. As I wrote in last month’s newsletter, pontificating on how we use the word “but,” the normal newsletter is taking a break this month to mix things up. We’re making a big shift, from “but” to “and.” While it is a once-a-month newsletter, I do break the pattern and my own template a few times a year, to remind myself to question habits and also to not take my own structures too seriously. Breaks = good.

And: Pause

Breaks? This time of this year, I notice myself taking more and longer breaks than usual. 

As a self-employed person (super grateful for this journey!), I have to be extra mindful of how I devote my time and energy. Paying myself is extremely rewarding, and if I’m not in the right condition to work, it also means I don’t get paid. When I left full-time employment two years ago, I didn’t quite appreciate how much it means that I now earn every part of my own income.  

There were a few weeks this year where I caught a cold or flu and needed to severely cut back on work. There was also the month where I needed to physically rest, with a rib injury. I learned a lot. Putting myself first isn’t easy, and we can do hard things. In the meantime, I take my rest pretty seriously. I take regular breaks throughout the workday, and I’m pretty proud to be averaging 8 hours of sleep every night this year. While I love what I do and recognize the great privilege in my work—I wish my capacity were limitless, and protecting my boundaries is how I show up well—I have to place extra emphasis on taking breaks and maintaining the foundations of my health. I sometimes choose to do less so I can do it well.

There’s mostly no CTA in this newsletter, and if you sense your foundation needs some support, too: here is your permission to pause, to say no to doing something, and to just be. 5 minutes at the holidays? 5 days? You do you, and I highly encourage you to make pausing a part of your you.

This year: I’m proud of the pauses I took to make sure I could show up ready to play in my work. 

And: Offline Coaching

There was also quite a lot of exploration and creation. In April, after more than a year of incubation and design work with the fabulous Studio Mengke, I introduced the prototypes of And What Else?, a card deck designed for self-reflection and growth. The feedback from the test users showed me the power of self-led reflection. I’ve sat with the feedback and am now exploring some ideas to get the 200-question card deck into more hands. (I do have one 1 single copy left, so if you’ve got 20 bucks and a desire for the last copy, DM me.) Most of all, my journey creating And What Else? showed me the power of patience and the value of powerful questions. 

The second physical creation was the reflective workbook, And Now What?, that I released last week. Knowing I talk to a lot of people navigating transitions, uncertainty, and challenging circumstances, I wanted to create an option that would support you in shifting into owning the change you want as much as possible. If you are leaning into the new year and looking for support with change right now, the special pricing (49 EUR (~59 USD)) is available until January 7, and you can find more details here. There’s also an option to get the workbook and 4 coaching sessions. While the introductory prices are limited-time introductory offers, the workbook will remain available as an offering to supplement or complement coaching. 

A final and most recent form of creation in 2025 has been recording and publishing new meditation offerings through InsightTimer, an app I’ve trusted to support my own meditation practice for the last 5+ years. While I’m teaching less yoga these days, I get a lot of feedback from people that I’ve helped them calm down. For me, there’s no better way to calm down than through a short meditation or breathing session, which is now available to you 24/7 (for free!). You’ll also find a sample of the audio companions that are included with the workbook, and they make a lot more sense if you have the workbook, too.

This year: I’m proud of finding ways to extend how I support you, beyond just live 1:1 coaching sessions. 

And: Setbacks

I’m a big fan of dreaming, of creating possibilities, and I have a tendency to put some positive spin on many situations. There are many things I’m proud of, and there are also some areas where I fell short. Integrity is a topic that sometimes comes up in coaching, and we define it as doing what I say I will do by when I said I will do it. 

Here are some of the ideas that I thought I would focus on at the start of the year and how I’d assess my integrity at the end of the year:

• Have a draft/manuscript of my first book: 15%

• Lead a retreat of both personal and professional interest: 0%

• Work in German with increased confidence: 50%

• Appreciate time in a maintained home and yard/garden: 100%

• Move and stretch daily outdoors: 99%

• Create moments of fun: 100%

• Connect intuitively with a community: 40%

• Continue developing my business sustainably: 90%

• Share practices of breath, movement, and mindfulness: 50%

• Experience depth of connection with family and friends: 75%

• Stabilize relationships with financial advisor(s): 30%

• Make plans for property and/or mid-term financial goals: 0%

• Launch passive streams of income: 50%

If everything is weighted equally, I’d give my overall integrity a score of 54%. That’s neither good nor bad; it is what it is. If I want to increase the likelihood of my own success, I can start to see how I might be, act, feel, or think differently to increase my integrity. 

At the end of every Caveday work sprint, we invite participants in the community to share their outcomes, whether they feel like wins, losses, or something in the middle. Whether it feels like celebration, commiseration, or just plain acknowledgement, I find that sharing is a powerful tool for both connection and accountability. 

If you’d like to share any of your wins, losses, or acknowledgements and I can support you by receiving your reflections, feel free to reply here. (Seriously! I offer you my confidentiality, and there are no strings attached.)

And: Partnerships

While I clearly didn't hit all my goals, I want to acknowledge the many humans I partnered with this year as a coach. Together, we moved forward with many diverse goals, and the breadth of my client’s needs is something I value as I enter my fourth year of coaching.

In 2025, I coached 25 people and met with another 43 prospective clients who were considering coaching or team workshops to make work work for more people. To all those nearly 70 humans who I had the pleasure to get to know, thank you for investing time, energy, and trust in your conversations and sessions with me. I always celebrate my client’s decisions, whether it’s a yes, a no, or a not right now. My goal is always to support folks to answer the unknown questions, and clarity counts big time in selecting - or not selecting - a coach. (If you know anyone curious about unlocking what’s stuck or what’s next, the first call is always free.)

Alongside private coaching, I partnered with organizations like Fired Up Space to provide coaching to unemployed job seekers in Germany, with TranslaStars to help localization professionals upskill as managers, with Mercedes-Benz BeVisioneers to amplify the impact of mentorship for 1,000 young entrepreneurs around the world, with WelcomeBerlin and TheLocal Germany to provide ongoing support to expats navigating life abroad, and continued to work with Caveday to support focus, flow, and fun as parts of our everyday digital working lives.

This year: I’m proud of the diversity of people and organizations that I could support to do better work - and live better lives - in a complex, changing world.

And: You!

While I do my best to make the ways I can help you known, I’ve never claimed to be an expert in marketing. I’m also not a salesperson who will scream how I can help you. I’ll share my offer, and try to leave you to decide in the ways you prefer. 

While other platforms where I showcase the journey of &joy (like LinkedIn and Instagram) grew by ~150% in 2025, this newsletter grew by 430% (!!) in the last 12 months. Pause for that. 430%. You made that happen, helping me grow my reach. Thank you for taking interest in my work and for being curious about making your work and/or your life richer in any way. Thank you for being a subscriber, an opener, and someone who is here, reading, learning, being human – together.

This year: I’m grateful for your readership, your curiosity, and the ways that you said yes or no to what I offered. 

As we turn the calendar, may you know when your moment of change calls you, and whether you’re ready or not, may you 

In joy,
Stephen