Setback or growth? A lesson from a bruised rib

The Power of Not Yet

Showing up grounded, present, and ready to support others is critical to my work. With a weekly rhythm alternating between running, swimming, and yoga, I lean pretty heavily on my physical activity routine to help me be energetically available for my work. 

Having a bruised rib the last few weeks really caught me off guard. There were new challenges and obstacles to practicing yoga, getting around by bike, and surprisingly, even sleep, which seemed most important for recovery. The added challenge of not knowing the severity of the injury could have made my work, not just my life, significantly complicated. 

I’d set some pretty big goals and intentions for July, so I needed to quickly re-assess the pivot.

Stepping back to think about what I could do rather than getting bogged down by what I couldn’t do helped me to seize the moment to learn and take new perspectives. I embraced morning walks instead of running or swimming, appreciating podcasts with less need to cool down. In the process, I saw summer as a space for rest, not just movement and energy. I saw parts of my neighborhood in new ways. I felt connected to parents and grandparents who enjoy walking. I saw the rib injury as something I could learn and even benefit from, even if it hurt.

As part of an upcoming team client engagement, I’ve been paying more attention to what growth mindset means in my life. Sometimes people operate with a “fixed” belief system that intelligence is static, avoiding opportunities to learn in favor of looking smart and avoiding feedback or learning. Carol Dweck defined the opposing mindset as a “growth mindset,” which recognizes that intelligence can be developed through embracing challenges and learning from setbacks or criticism.

It’s relatively easy to get pulled into exploring the world believing that we’re right, that we’ve found or hold the answers. But our survival is linked to growing and evolving, which happens through exploring what else we can learn. 

Dweck points to phrases like “not yet” rather than “no”: “if you get a failing grade, you think, I’m nothing, I’m nowhere. But if you get the grade “Not Yet” you understand that you’re on a learning curve. It gives you a path into the future.”

Rather than saying “no, I can’t” to many things while injured, growth mindset taught me to say, “I’m not ready yet” while knowing the time would come.

If you’re looking to stimulate growth mindset, you might also invite questions like “how might I or someone else see this differently?” or notice and celebrate moments where you’ve observed your own effort, growth, and persistence, not just visible outcomes.

In the process of looking for learning opportunities, be mindful not to make yourself “wrong”. There’s no need to feel guilty for struggling to embrace a challenge. Rather, recognize the awareness that we’re also continuously learning about learning itself.

Does this resonate? As I build some new course programming, I’d love to hear personal replies about what growth mindset looks like for you and in which ways you find it challenging.

A quick note:

I’ll be taking some scheduled time off in August. Rest is a precursor to performance for me, and being self-employed certainly comes with the need to pace my work. The newsletter will also take a brief pause (instead, I’ll share a special edition!). If you’ve been thinking about reaching out to explore support for a transition, career direction, or shifting the tone of your team’s work, now’s a good time to get in touch before I press pause for part of August. My calendar still has a few open spots in the coming weeks.

And What Else:

Explore these questions, and embrace the challenge to dig deeper, asking what else might be relevant to answer. 

• Honor Yourself: What challenges are you facing or embracing at the present moment?

• Explore Curiously: What might you be able to learn?

• Foster Trust: What possibilities are you curious to lean into?

• Shift Perspectives: What would change if you knew you couldn’t fail?

• Clarify Decisions: What discomfort do you need to experience to get what you want?

• Empower Action: What might create forward momentum?

Nuggets of Work-Life

Every coaching session and workshop closes with acknowledging learnings, insights, and moments of celebration. Here are a few of my recent nuggets:

• An active client had a small breakthrough when she shared a short synopsis that someone else wrote to describe her strengths. If you struggle to see yourself in a positive way, don’t hesitate to ask those who know you well to write your sales pitch. You might let them blow you away.

• Earlier in July, I joined WeAreDevelopers at the HRLeadersSummit. I’m sitting with the question of how do we encourage output and high performance while cultivating learning? If you’ve got ideas, answers, or counter-questions, I’d love you to join the conversation.

• For fellow expats in Germany seeking life or job changes, I’ve compiled some tips for settling or resettling. Parts 1, 2, and 3 have been included in the WelcomeBerlin blog, and part 4 is coming later this month.

  

• In response to a reader survey, The Local Germany also published some of my tips and supportive thoughts for folks in the job search this month - snapshots below. If you know anyone wondering how to stand out in this tricky job market, I’d love to help.

Practice Makes … Space for More Practice

• A pastime: as summer invites opportunities to be outdoors, try listening to nature with your eyes open and with your eyes closed. Notice what you perceive differently. How do you listen with your eyes?

• A recipe: as a non-coffee drinker, I’ve come to love Earl Grey tea, and a London Fog latte is a special alteration. I recently experimented with creating this Earl Grey-Lavender syrup (thanks for the recipe, Jenna!), and can highly recommend expanding your home drink selection with custom syrups. 

• A movement: balance isn’t just important between work and life. Physical balance also helps us live long, healthy lives. Try standing on one foot with the other foot hovering above the floor. For an added challenge, close your eyes. If you notice yourself leaning or falling, tug your ear lobe with the hand opposite the lifted leg.

Ways to Engage and Support

If we’ve worked together and you’re not currently in need of personal support or teamwork facilitation, I’d love for you to forward this invitation to a colleague or friend. While the newsletter will take a break in August, I’ll happily share a special “summer” edition to support some mindful pauses.

Anyone you know can subscribe to the newsletter for free or reach out directly. (If you refer someone who schedules 4 or more coaching sessions, I’ll be happy to gift you/them an additional 30-minute speed coaching session at no cost.)

In joy,
Stephen