Playing Cards

There were probably 1:100,000 chances of my bike tire catching the tram track. 
There were probably 1:5 chances that I’d fall to my left, injuring my non-dominant shoulder.
There were probably 1:100 chances that I’d be able to stand up and hop back on the bike to get home.
There were probably 1:10,000 chances that the general practice doctor just one floor up from the radiology clinic where I wanted to get an appointment ASAP was actually an expert in this exact injury. I just needed someone, anyone to give me a referral for x-rays.
There were probably 1:1,000,000 chances that she’d get her colleague to call me and ask me to come see him. (Usually, it’s the patient calling the doctor, right?)

And, if any of those guesstimates are correct, that means a 1 in 500,000,000,000,000,000 (five-hundred quadrillion) chance that I’d go from the last day of June out on a summer joy ride to the first week of July with a world-class orthopedic surgeon reassuring me that I’ll heal without surgery.

Life is full of odds. Most of them we probably can’t calculate. Some of them we can influence in our favor. Some of them we can’t change. 

What can we always do? 

We can play the cards we’re dealt.

In Act II, Scene II of his namesake play, Hamlet famously says, “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” 

It’s a challenging proposition to erase the existence of good and bad.

Can it be that external events are neutral?

Can it be that the mind assigns the emotional weight?

I like to try to think so… 

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve very much had moments when I slipped into thinking “my summer is ruined,” that this is all bad. My partner has watched me feel sorry for myself for a few hours on the couch, and I’ve finished more than one pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the last three weeks (it was on sale!! & I’m a firm believer that ice cream is the most important meal of the day!). 

But still… I think we have to look at the different sides of a situation. 

I’ve learned that the German language has a phrase for “Glück im Unglück,” which could be translated as a blessing in disguise, but perhaps is more accurate to think of as luck in adversity or luck in misfortune. 

It reminds me that it’s not “all bad,” and writing off my summer would be a fateful end to a not-entirely-tragic scenario.

I took some space in my journal to write: What I can’t do / What I can do?

One of my clients’ favorite questions is often the exploration of what’s outside and what’s within my control?

It’s not like I have an empty hand. I still have cards to play. 

As legendary basketball coach John Wooden famously said, "Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." It’s a mindset I’m choosing to practice, because seeing the good is not a one-time thing. Playing the cards we’re dealt is a way of living and an active, everyday choice.

And What Else?

You may have heard: I’m launching a new tool to help you navigate these kinds of moments. There are just 2 (!!) more copies available in the first batch of the And What Else? coaching card deck. Drop me a message if you’re curious to pre-order.

This month’s prompts, from the category Foster Trust, inspired by Lisa Jikeli of The Good Change and Rainer Maria Rilke:

Nuggets of Work-Life

Every coaching session and team workshop closes with acknowledging learnings, insights, and moments of celebration. Here are a few of my recent nuggets:

• “Sprinkles of Possibility:” In her Creative Mornings talk, Lisa gifted us reusable crayons and encouraged us to "collect evidence of the future." Mine sits on my desk as a daily reminder to act like a detective for the future I want to build.

• AI as a Matchmaker: A client recently found me via ChatGPT. (Small moment of imposter syndrome.) While the coaching world debates human vs. AI, I’m unalarmed, knowing there are plenty of human challenges to go around! I’m celebrating that the algorithm knows I’m here. (Though people search many places and for many things in a coach, I most frequently find that they leave with a sense of security and calm.)

• Work/Life Overlaps: A client recently passed his long-awaited sailing exam. It came up in our career coaching as a major personal milestone that was blocking his momentum. It was a great reminder that life and work challenges are deeply linked, and my practice honors both.

• Personally, I’ve been celebrating a few small things: I’m celebrating the simple gift of daily walks as my body rebuilds strength, and the incredible support system of friends, partner, and doctors who remind me we don't have to navigate hard things alone. AI or not, we’ve still got each other, and I want to celebrate the people around me.

Practice Makes … Space for More Practice

After years of sharing pastimes, recipes, and movements that we can practice together or alone, this newsletter section is asking for a revamp – and your input. Would you reply to let me know what “practice” looks or feels like to you lately?

Here’s what another reader shared about the word “practice”:

My son has been practicing his walking a lot lately and it's fascinating the resilience and determination small humans have. That was my immediate thought when I read your question! He practices dozens of times a day to go from crawling to seated to standing to taking a few steps before falling down again. He is so unbothered when he lands on his bum that he just continues with his day on all fours and tries again later. It's so smooth and... admirable? He's a resilient little friend and I have a lot to learn from him when it comes to practice (aka being more open to it because I think our adult brains think: oh no... practice = time, energy, failure, try agains, learning...that's a lot of work!).

It reminds me of the Japanese proverb: “fall seven times, stand up eight.”

Ways to Engage and Support

A huge thank you to everyone who made space for dedicated coaching this summer. My schedule for the next two months is almost entirely full! (I can probably take just one more client at the moment.)

I am now opening up my calendar for 1:1 coaching partnerships and team facilitation workshops starting in late September. If you – or someone you know – are looking to set up dedicated support or bring your team together for the final stretch of the year, let's start the conversation now so we can secure your spot.

In joy,
Stephen